Adventures in the Lone Star State

Dating Dos & Don’ts

Here at BYU, it seems like they continually stress that people “date” and not “hang out.” After all, all our leaders want us to get married, right? Well, it’s interesting what to learn about people’s thoughts on dating. I’d like to share my thoughts (and pet peeves) about dating. Everything I write will (obviously) come from a guy’s perspective.

When on a date, guys should:

  • Compliment his date on how nice she looks (I forget to do this more often than not—even though I am thinking it in my head).
  • Open the door for his date (e.g., car, restaurant, apartment, etc.)
  • Look her in the eyes when speaking (otherwise, you probably will give off the impression that you’re not interested)
  • Cover the costs of dinner, an activity, etc.
  • Make conversation

When on a date, girls should:

  • Let the guy be a gentleman
  • Give (at least) a hug at the end of the date
    • If you are pretty short, then putting your hands underneath is fine
    • If you are close to the guy’s height (w/in 4 in. or so), then put your arms around his neck
  • Make conversation
  • Open the guys car door when he’s walking around to his door (optional)
  • A girl did this to me once, and I thought it was awesome; she definitely scored points with this simple act

When on a date, guys should not:

  • Answer their phone (unless coordinating when on a group date)
  • Pick their nose (I really hope nobody has done this)
  • Brag (most girls don’t thinks it’s really cool how nice of a car you drive or how much money you make, etc.)
  • Check out other girls (why are you on this date?!)
  • Swear
  • IMNSHO, it’s crude and show disrespect
    • Keep it clean
    • Give a crappy hug

When on a date, girls should not:

  • Answer their cell phone! Turn the bloody phone off!
    • Show some respect to the other person by not having conversations with other people while on a date.
    • A guy may have his phone on when he is coordinating with the other guys (on a group date); otherwise, he too should turn off his phone
    • If, you absolutely have to take a call, let you date know in advance
  • Slam the car door
  • Let the guy close the door for you; again, let him be a gentleman
  • Give a crappy hug
    • The whole one arm over and one arm under just plain sucks
  • Give a side hug
    • Who on earth ever thought this was appropriate on a date should be shot

Obviously, this list is just a short compilation of some ideas I just thought about. As mentioned above, one of my pet peeves is answering a cell phone a date. It’s pretty much a for sure thing to do for me never to ask you out again.

What are you thoughts on dating?

November 20th, 2005 at 12:00 am

4 Responses to “Dating Dos & Don’ts”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    Fernando! I loved your ‘Do’s’ and ‘Dont’s’ because I totally agree with them. Last year my roommate and I wrote this article for Dave Sudweek’s ward newsletter. Just thought you’d like to hear my two cents on a little ‘Do’s’ and ‘Don’ts’ :)
    Lindsey Kempton

    The first step to going on a date is asking the young lady if she would like to spend the evening with you. Though it may seem like the simplest part of the date, it is actually one of the most important. How you ask a girl on a date dictates how she feels about you during the time between you asking her and the actual date.

    Following we have included a list of some ‘Dos’ and ‘Don’ts’
    1. Don’t ask her the day of the date
    Though in certain situations this can work out quite nicely, as a general rule it is a bad idea. A girl wants to feel like she is not a last resort and is only being asked because all of the girls you wanted to go out with had plans. We understand that sometimes you run into a bind, but if you want to make the girl feel special, try to plan far enough ahead that you don’t run into this problem. Try not to ask too far in advance because here at BYU she’ll probably be married before the date comes around.
    2. Don’t ask her on a date via e-mail or text message.
    We are in college now and every girl wants to feel like she means enough to warrant at least a phone call.
    3. Don’t start the conversation with, “What are you doing on Friday night?”
    BAD idea. If the young lady does have plans that she would cancel for the chance to go on a date with YOU, it makes it awkward for her to cancel if you already know that she has something planned. On the other hand, if the girl is not sure why you are calling she might say something like, “Well, I might have something, I’m not really sure…” This means that she is not sure why you are calling and would like to know more before she reveals her plans. Often in this case, you, as the boy, hear, “Well, I didn’t, but now that you want to ask me out I’m pretty sure I can think of some reason to be busy that night.” This is not what she’s saying at all. Just cut to the chase and ask her out already
    4. Don’t say, “My roommates wanted me to get a date…”
    What the girl hears is, “I really didn’t want to go out with you, but I was forced into going.” Whether that’s correct or not, you should make her feel like you want to go.
    5. Don’t leave a message and expect her to call you back
    Your best bet is to tell her roommates or her answering machine that you will call her back. This keeps the ball in your court and prevents you from waiting until the last minute to ask someone else out because she hasn’t responded. (See Don’t # 1)

    1. Do sound excited and confident when you call her.
    Confidence lets her know that you are happy to go out with her.
    2. Do let her know some basics of what you are doing so that she can prepare for the date.
    The element of surprise can be fun for both of you, but give her some idea of how to dress or what to expect. If you don’t give her a clue you may both regret it later (e.g. you surprise her with tickets to the symphony and she shows up in jeans and a t-shirt…AWKWARD ).
    3. Do be considerate.
    Try to call her before 10:30 pm any night of the week. This will benefit you as well, because after all, they don’t call it beauty sleep for nothing.
    4. Do keep it personal.
    Let there be no question as to whether this is a date or just a hang out activity. If it is a date, keep it to an even number of people less than five.
    5. Do RELAX
    This article was not written with the intent to discourage any of you men. For the most part, all of you have done a good job staying away from the don’ts and sticking with the do’s. Because the asking is one of the most important parts, if you do it right you can be confident with the rest of the date.

    Lindsey Kempton and Kimberly Gardner

  2. Anonymous Says:

    What’s IMNSHO?

  3. Fernando Says:

    it’s a chat term, “in my not so humble opinion.”

  4. Fernando Says:

    Oh yeah, I was just reminded of something. Girls, DO NOT go out with a guy just to get a free dinner. That’s so SHALLOW. I might venture to say that you don’t deserve to be asked out.

    If I ever found out that this happened to me, I’d be pissed off at the girl and probably black list her.

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